Going through menopause and considering the prospect of sex can bring up some really far flung thoughts – either you’re excited with the prospect of wild, crazy, spontaneous intercourse primarily because you have no longer have any worries about procreation (or avoidance thereof) or you’re avoiding it because you have no desire whatsoever to have sex in any way shape or form or you’re dreading it because it freaking hurts!
Yup, you are surely going through menopause. The problem is that you never know which symptom will be yours, or when you will have them, and worse, that you may have all three of them, one after the other or a combination of them. Fun stuff, huh?
Estrogen loss in menopause, for many women, means that they haven’t got the juice (i.e. the estrogen) to help them reach the arousal stage. The caressing and touching that you used to enjoy so much may not feel as wonderful as it once did. It may even be abhorrent, sad to say.
And even when you are emotionally charged enough to get into it, you know – the spirit is willing – you may have pain when you get down to it. What happens is that the blood flow to the vagina is decreased, and it makes the lower third of the vagina shrink (OUCH!). Its agony and ecstasy; your partner may feel as though he hit the virgin jackpot all over again, while you’re feeling like you’re insides are being split apart.
Simple over the counter treatments with water-soluble creams or lubricants can help with the Sahara desert issue. And you needn’t buy the old-fashioned K-Y stuff that you once found in your mom’s dresser drawer and used on your lips, thinking it was like Vaseline (wrong lips, by the way). They now come in assorted flavors (though still not to be used on your lips).
For the more difficult problem, you may need to talk to your doctor (sorry about that) about hormone replacement therapy, which should help you put your libido back in working order. Estrogen alone may or may not help with your sex drive, but at a minimum, it will improve the dryness problem. Your doctor may suggest a combination of estrogen and testosterone hormone therapy, to increase your “urges.” In case you’re not aware, testosterone is the predominant hormone in the male body (and we all know what sexual animals they are), so if this is the course your doctor sets you on, better stock up on the economy sized cherry flavored lubricant, just in case!
Be Healthy, Be Beautiful
Juliette Samuel,
Esthetician/CEO NYRAJU Skin Care
‘Your Skin Care Expert For Women of Color’